please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
