drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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