just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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