K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
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