you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
