there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize