Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
