I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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