ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
