i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
