goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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