How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
