Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Four minutes until I can fart!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
