I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
