What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
