That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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