i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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