She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize