I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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