Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
