Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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