butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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