We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
