There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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