we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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