did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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