I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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