Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize