we're blogging at a bar
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
