...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
