Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My penis needs a shock collar
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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