hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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