Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
