OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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