Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
