I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
