Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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