Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
