If i come over, it means nothing
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
