You can't special order awesome
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
