You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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