all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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