Don't you send me to vm
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
