I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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