Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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