Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
