You really coming over, don't trick.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
