This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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