Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
