evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize
