I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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