My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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