Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
someone owes me an orgasm
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Randomize
