wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
