im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
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I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
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Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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