Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
