true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm passing your future prison.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
