You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
