i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
